Michelle Pfeiffer

The respective universes of Grease and Grease 2 collided when John Travolta and Michelle Pfeiffer filmed the family-friendly movie version of the Broadway musicalization of John Waters' Hairspray. Ms. Pfeiffer lacquers it on in the role Debbie Harry originated: Velma Von Tussle. Belting out "Miss Baltimore Crabs" to her teeny-bopper dancers as she teaches them to be tame tame tame (and prejudiced) for The Corny Collins Show, Ms. Von Tussle contaminates the air with layer upon layer of gloriously delusional self-worship.

Hugely reworked for the film, there is a line cut from the song that I miss: "Childhood dreams for me were scrapped when that damn Shirley Temple stole my friggin' act!"

Also, there's a weird rattlesnake sound effect that happens all through the song that reminds me of the death rattle you hear in Terror Train whenever somebody's killed. Freaky!